Gollum Writes a Poem

I want to get you to love

Or at least pity me

And feed me your gourmet food

I want to have whatever delicious snacks

I want to have, whenever

I want to be so visionary and well-spoken

That you can’t help but feed me

Gourmet delicious food

I want gardens to be everywhere

So that I never worry about opting to eat potato chips

Though I’ll probably eat them anyway

And then have belly problems

A convenient excuse for my repressed shadow

And blame it on the past, or society, or my parents

Or just slink away in shame,

While vowing and plotting to know more

And ride back on a flaming tongue of blinding knowledge

To which your dazzled, overwhelmed mind must readily submit

Or face the shame of stupidity

And then, when I finally have people

Giving me all the gourmet delicious food I want,

And the homeless, too, for appearance sake

I’ll fuck a hot Asian teenager

Whose insecurity and lack of intelligence

Keep me feeling strong and safe

And then I’ll go on, criticizing the institutions

Clutching and choking the status quo

And then move to Thailand,

To eat meaty curry forever with my hot Thai wife

And 10,000 parasites in my gut

And suffering silently when I’m alone,

For having been blind to my natal star

And letting it float, all alone,

Into the cold recesses of space

Too far away for any hand

To caress and embrace,

But I’m tired now,

Let me go die in bed.


This shadow, my Gollum

Wants to show me, and I think he knows

Something I don’t:

The way home.



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